spacebarisstuck

I contemplated typing this blog in binary (01110111 01101111 01110111 00100001 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01100011 01110100 01110101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110111 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01101111 01110101 01100010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100001 00100000 00111010 00101101 00101001 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100011 01110101 01110010 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 00101110 00100000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 00101100 00100000 01110100 01111001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100 01110011 00101110 00101110 00101110 01011001 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01000010 01110101 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01101111 01110010 00100000 00101110 00101110 00101110 01000100 01101111 01101110 01101011 01100101 01111001 00100000 01000010 01100001 01101100 01101100 01110011 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110111 01100101 01101001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101001 00100111 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 01110011 00100001) or in “tlhIngan Hol” (Klingon) just for my own amusement… Klingon would be a very appropriate “language” to use!! the many words the language possess to express battle, warfare, fighting, major arse kicking, etc. and of course, some of the finest curses and insults from their fictional side of the galaxy “nuqDaq ‘oH puchpa’ ‘e’”, would fit nicely when expressing my most recent feelings towards this “weight loss journey”…(annnnnd i have a feeling i just exposed my geek card)

Hmm.. i’ve been bouncing between being 5lbs. and 3 lbs. short of my first 50lbs lost for the past (2) months.. what’s up with that!!!!? Last weekend, I took an impromptu roadtrip/vacation just to unwind and refocus.. i think it worked and i’ve gotten my momentum back!!! and no speeding tickets this time!!!

GAWD!!! i’m soOoo ready to do another build.. i lerv Habitat and AmeriCorps…

ok! i get to workout again tomorrow/Saturday (THANK GOOdNESS) i get so bored when i can’t go workout regularly…

so… i’m bummed out… i go to the store and buy ~$37 worth of delicious junkfood (fancy cookies, chips & queso, frozen stuff, weird cheeses, etc.). On my way home i have to pass a dojang a friend offered for me to workout in, so i decide to stop, but not to workout, just to use his ladies room (before i make the 40+ min drive to my home)…

I’m about to leave his biz when i start trying to convince myself to just do a workout while i’m there. i had the hardest time convincing myself to stay and workout… LOL.. it actually got pretty ugly! There was name calling! A few eff bombs were dropped! Threats! Disappointment! (   my negative self-talk is very lively and abusive).. but FINALLY after going back and forth in my mind for a good 7 minutes, i decide to stay and workout for 10min so my precious junk in the car wouldn’t thaw before i got home…

2-3 min later… I’m working out and I start to feel a little better… BUT! My pants are too big! they’re falling because i don’t have a belt! another excuse to stop working out! but No!, Rob has Ducttape!!!! (for the first time ever, wished i had a camera!) i ducttaped my pants up, laughed at the sight and kept exercising….

An hour later… the workout was descent, my spirits are much higher than they were earlier that day and I no longer want the junk food!… Now i set to thinking of someone i can give the food to because i just can’t waste food and i don’t think the store will take it back… my bottomless pit little brother? he loves free food and never gains weight! but… he wasn’t home… i try a couple more ppl and no one was at home! everyone was at work!

I’m stuck with the junk… i take the junk to my home… and Darnnit!!!! i eat some of it… then more! then i get bummed again for consuming junk, and now… pfft! well….. i don’t wanna weigh in this week!!

Parse Error: parse error, unexpected :nuts!”*The ULTIMATE blog of all blogs!* could not be compiled.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(tee hee hee)

How’s everyone doing today??

*random gym-related thoughts*

I’m toOOoo fat! I do not belong in a gym! Gyms are where almost-fit & fit ppl stay fit! I should be someplace else, grazing in a field swatting flies with my tail… Or jogging in the shadows at a quiet, low traffic, secret lake… Gym patrons will place bets on when the fat girl will quit and stop coming, or on how long before they have to call EMS for her… or laugh at how short her workout is, or at how fast she gets tired… I’ll trip and fall, I ALWAYS trip and stumble or something clumsy like that… or worse!  something freakish like uncontrollable flatulence while on the rowing machine!  Do gyms have mirrors everywhere? I don’t want to see my disgusting form! I couldn’t miss me! I know others can’t miss me either! I’m huge! Crap! I can’t “blend in”…

but i’m being irrational and paranoid… (or am I??)

Some of the fit ppl at the gym were possibly tubby at one point just like me! No one at a gym reEEeeally cares what the big girl in the back corner is doing do they?  They’re there to do their own workout, not to ridicule and judge the newb… And even if they did, so what? They don’t know me, I do not know them… I’ll never see them outside of the gym… And I’m changing myself! Working out! Not being just another “lazy fat person”…  How peculiar though, usually, when I’m ‘focused’ on something I’m not as timid. Why isn’t that true in the gym’s case? Maybe I can wear funny shirts each time I go! Or be emo and wear my hair over my face and speak to no one… Or just be me, stinkin’ friendly! Maybe I need a gym buddy!  I’ve never been that fond of being exhausted and sweaty in public, then again,  I have never been fond of being a fatty in public…  which am I the least fond of???

ehh… maybe i’ll venture into a gym after I lose 40more lbs… but I sure would lose 40 more lbs. faster if I used equipment at a GyYyYYyYm…

I’m such a pansy sometimes…

and by “THOSE” i mean ‘a desire to’… and by “people” i mean ‘kick him in the batteries’…

yesterday, as i sat in my vehicle at a stoplight on my way to work, i saw a sweaty guy jogging towards me on the sidewalk and i became JEALOUS of him!!!!! I wanted to jog too! burn calories! become drenched and reinvigorated! not go to work to sit in my office for 16hrs!!!

It’s been a little over a week since i’ve had time to exercise like i normally do due to a recent workload increase, staffing shortage and sadly the recent layoff of my assistants… I haven’t been able to squeeze at least an hour of exersice back into my days yet!That bites! The desire to workout is “surprisingly” still within me… and it’s somehow ended up intertwined w/ guilt if i miss workouts and i’m craving the “workout high” and this constant thought that i can be burning calories and looking less bovine-y! I’d be such and such weight by now if only i were working out! ugh! it soOoo nagging..  

the extent of my jonesing…. so! lately, i’ve been finding reasons to pick things up off of the floor under my desk, just so i can sneak in a pushup or two! little mini workouts, to tide me over till i score some real workout time…  i park in the farthest parking space from the building and find excuses to run back out to the car… i race my boss to the server room every chance i get… and we chair dance a lot! I just know, as time goes on, i’ll start getting more desperate and creative lol… actually, this could become pretty interesting…

*sigh* ok…. back to work..